Jen and I have been planning our Facebook page launch ever since we thought of the idea of having a blog. After claiming our Facebook page (along with every other possible social media platform as we are very ambitious), two years later we’ve finally clicked the publish button. Let me tell you that this may be one of the most anticipated moments of my existence…I will let you be the judge as to whether that’s a good thing or just demonstrates how perpetually sad my existence is.

I’d like to share with our 3 readers the 10 stages of launching a Facebook page à la SAUMIGNON.

1. Planning the Launch

As our website was hacked (whoever it was was obviously misguided as our viewership is very low), we wanted to breathe new life into our blog. We purchased a new theme and were trying to figure out a logo for our blog. We were deciding on whether we wanted to be viewed as cool and hip by having some type of geometrical shape as our logo but then we realized we ain’t that cool (ಥ﹏ಥ).

We stumbled upon a slew of adorable cartoons and as a joke I drew us on photoshop (please hire me…jk not jk) and the more Jen looked at it the cuter we got. However, unfortunately it was really hard to incorporate these two cuties into a logo with our blog name on it so we’ve just used them elsewhere. I have included them below because the world must know how great I am as an artist.

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2. SubtLy enquiring friends over potential likes

Just like that moment before you have 11 likes on Instagram, we were frightened that our Facebook page would not be welcomed onto people’s newsfeeds. Insecure that our page would garner no likes and that we would be the laughing stock of the internet, we both subtly incorporated in daily conversations with our few friends over whether they would like our page. By subtly, I mean we would just randomly say “like my page ok? thx.” Obviously, they pitied our insecurities with their reply of, “Of course!!!!!” Just remember, that at the end of day a pity like is still a like. It’s not about the process it’s about the end goal.
Our plan was to nag 50 of our friends each to like itヽ( ̄~ ̄ )ノ. Nagging works my friends, how else do you think 80% of couples out there get engaged? The woman just be nagging about ring sizes, diamond cuts that she likes, and how all your friends are getting married now.

3. Never have I ever felt more vulnerable

As our page became finalized…we were both sitting behind our computers, in different cities, and getting ready for our “launch.” Adrenaline rushed through me as I realized this was the moment I’ve been working towards my whole life. So ready to press publish, we forgot that we had no idea where the publish button was. When I finally found it my hand was shaking as I clicked “make this page public” because in that moment we were making ourselves vulnerable to the internet. By having a Facebook page we were really making our blog a thing and this meant that people may judge us and think “who do these two girls think they are.” To be honest, I don’t think many people think of us so I guess that’s not a valid fear and additionally our level of shame is very low and level of self love a little too high for delusional peeps like us.

4. See who the reals are

At first, we didn’t invite people to like our page so that we could sort between our close friends who the reals were and who the fakes were. We wanted to see who would organically like our page. Obviously we wanted to hurt our non-existent egos because organic likes only got us so far. Also to be fair this was not a good metric because it’s taken Jen a week to figure out how to like our page so who are we to judge others if we ourselves cannot even like our own page.

5. We’re going viral!!!

That first evening we reached about 30 likes and that was the first time I tasted the emotions of going viral. We were so excited and couldn’t believe that we achieved this enormous milestone. Typing to each other over messenger in full caps, “WE MADE IT!” we knew that this was the beginning of our path to our own TLC reality TV show.

6. Succomb to inviting people

Reality finally hit us when we realized that not everyone was like my mother who would like anything of mine without thinking about it, so we finally clicked on the invite friends button.

7. Waiting for that first non-friend like

Now the obvious next step would be waiting for our first non-friend like. This meant that someone out there didn’t do it just to support us cause they knew us, but because they truly liked our work. I will have you know that we have reached this milestone in likes….technically. The like actually came from my friend’s little sister that was with us in a coffee shop after I asked her if she could like it…that still counts right???? (omg I’m pathetic (>_<) )

8. Stare in awe over our hard work

After all our hard work of searching for validation in a sea of likes by inviting people (which is essentially the extent of my human interactions these days) and posting profile picture descriptions such as, “This is SCARY. If you and 9 friends don’t like the page you will receive 41 years of bad luck. You probably think chain letters are bogus and do not work. But I wouldn’t risk it if I were you.” we could finally take a break from clicking on our notifications button each time somebody liked our page and just stare in awe over our accomplishments this week. ヽ(・∀・)ノ

9. Plateau

Now we are a little under 200 likes so we’ve plateaued and this number can be now used to quantify our worth. Perhaps soon when we have less shame we will start inviting people all the way from elementary school that we have not spoken to in 60 years, but for now…

10. Thank you for liking

Thank you to friends and family for liking our page!!! We feel very humbled and blessed that you guys would take those 3 seconds out of your day to click the like button, because I know that each time somebody sends me a Candy Crush request I ignore that $hit (・・ ).

Stay tuned for more posts soon…( ◡‿◡ *)

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