Dearest all, I am writing to you while drinking red wine and listening to my soundcloud. Thus, if there are some typos it is probably due to the red wine. If there aren’t any then I’ll be very happy as that means that at least when I send a drunk text the spelling is good enough. Let’s be honest I don’t send drunk texts I ain’t that kind of girl.
How is it that an elegant woman like myself never been to afternoon tea at the Montreal Ritz-Carlton. Well I will have you know it’s not because I am not elegant enough but that the friends I surround myself with -cough Jen cough- aren’t elegant enough to accompany me to the Ritz. However during that splendid weekend that Helen visited she made sure that I had Saturday afternoon booked for her so that she could take me to Afternoon Tea.
Afternoon tea is held in the Palm Court. If this is your first time going and you don’t want to look like a lost peasant walking in, the Palm Court is literally situated ahead of the main entrance. Walk in and keep on walking till you reach this view. It is best to come here with a reservation as there is limited seating, so you may not get a spot if all the tables are taken. The staff there greets you and literally the customer experience here is superb. The service is amazing and of course it helps that all the waiters are adorable.
The scones come all nice and warm. I felt like my mouth was being enveloped by a snuggie as I took my first bite. The rose jelly and clotted cream was my favourite combination on the scones. If you are like me and will spread as little as possible at the beginning in fear that you will have a higher scone to jelly ratio if you spread too much, do not fret because they give you enough of everything so that you don’t have to ration your jelly.
These bite-sized sandwiches are good but then again it’s really hard to mess up sandwiches. Let me tell you how each one tasted. The cucumber sandwich, tasted very cucumbery. The chicken sandwich tasted like chicken. The most exciting sandwich was the oval one as I thought it was smoked meat so I saved the “best for last” but I was in for a surprise as I took a bite from it and discovered that it was filled with tomatoes and olives. No surprises here on the sandwich tray, you get what you ordered. The descriptions I have provided you guys on the sandwiches are the same exact ways I was describing it to Helen after I ate each one of them…she choked on her sandwich over my descriptions. As you can tell we were the classiest ladies in sight.
Look as Helen looks longingly at those pastries. You see pastries are like those bad boys you go back to even though you know they’re bad for you. These bad boys act all nice and sweet so you love them but then you overdose on their sugar and think to yourself “never again”. You see Helen’s expression is exactly that, she’s definitely thinking, “hello boys, we meet again, please treat me nicely this time but I know you’re just going to overdose me with sweetness.” At this point of our afternoon tea I was pretty stuffed, which is surprising as I can probably eat as much as a family of five in one sitting. The mille-feuille was my favourite desert out of them all so if you must prioritize which one you would eat causeÂ you’re bursting at the seams, pick this one.
This concludes Helen and my lovely trip to the Ritz. I would just like to say that besides the food and tea, I think the main reason to go would be for the ambience. I mean look at the pic above, don’t I just look like i was made for the tai-tai (wife in Chinese) lifestyle? I mean yes I know I’m wearing a hat indoors, but only after I noticed that somebody else was wearing a hat indoors too. For $32 sans tax, you can dress up and be that elegant woman you know you are on the inside. (ok enough Shirley you don’t need to give yourself a pep talk online…-whispers to self, “you is smart, you is kind, you is important”-). Sometimes I wonder why I’m not already a tai-tai…but then I remember that I’m actually the biggest OG out there…
If you’re looking for a social time with friends that doesn’t include gorging yourself or getting drunk, afternoon tea is definitely my new go to. It’s got small portion sizes, great atmosphere, and the opportunities to dress up are countless. The Ritz-Carlton has amazing service and you honestly feel it from the moment you walk in and are greeted to when you leave. 15/10 would bring somebody here.
1228 Sherbrooke St. West