Do you ever look at somebody and think, “damn, they look too cool for me.” Just from that one look you feel as if you already know that they have some sort of alternative avant-garde personality. There is an 80% chance that the person you’re looking at has a set of obscure bangs that are potentially shaped like a staircase on their forehead or a triangle. (They could also be potentially carrying a handbag that is reminiscent of your 90s childhood like a pikachu bag or a hello kitty wallet.)

It’s already hard enough to express that you have a personality in real life and as social media is now an extension of ourselves, the question comes down to how exactly can we show that we have a personality through our Facebook?

Childhood pictures in questionable clothing

Do I not just look like a miniature version of a modern day hipster? Is that a bucket hat I see? A Disney princess t-shirt? Some ruffled socks? Glasses that make me look like a grasshopper? 

Having a photo of your childhood self makes you seem approachable and makes it look like you can laugh at yourself. It shows that long journey of life that you’ve gone through to get to your current peak in life. Just kidding I haven’t peaked yet; I’m still waiting to lose 20 lbs, hit puberty, and have a wardrobe that will be the envy of every instagram blogger, but nobody on your online network thinks about these things, only you baby boo. So don’t keep yourself down.

Abusing your friends emotionally as a joke

When your friend posts anything, anywhere on facebook just reply “can you not.” It will make you look sarcastic, funny, cool, and overall just bada$$.

Just picture this.

Friend’s facebook status: “Can’t believe I just passed my last exams!!!!!”

You: “Can you not”

Friend’s facebook profile picture where they use lyrics as a caption

You: “Can you not”

Friend’s timeline photo of a cake they just baked saying, “Just baked this for my girlfriend”

You: “Can you not”

It may look like you’re harsh but at the same time being able to write that on people’s walls just shows that you have close friends who love you. Didn’t we all learn at a young age that when someone likes you they’re mean to you? Well that’s exactly the saying we’re applying here.

Having your relatives on facebook

You know you enjoy it when you see your acquaintance’s grandma post on his profile picture where he’s standing with his female best friend who has friendzoned him over the past 10 years,

Hope all is well. You and your girlfriend look great Bobby! Grandma misses you. xoxo

Of course this comment will accumulate minimum 10 likes because it’s just so cute and of course you’ll have one cheeky friend who will actually reply your grandma on your behalf. This is the ultimate goal of having your relatives on Facebook. After all what is family for but to embarrass you online and when they’re drunk at weddings trying to set you up with any single bachelor.

Using kaomojis instead of emojis

What exactly is a kaomoji? Well they’re Japanese emoticons.

  • Exhibit A: ٩(◕‿◕。)۶
  • Exhibit B: (; ̄Д ̄)
  • Exhibit C: (╯°益°)╯彡┻━┻

To me using kaomojis just yells “I’m too alternative for normal emojis I need to search the internet for other means of expressing myself.” When I use them, I just feel like an alternative teenager discovering herself through anime and Japanese culture with pastel hair and white plastic material overalls. Who doesn’t want to feel like a human unicorn these days?

Classic Double Chin picture

Santa may creep into your house to give you presents on Christmas, but when your double chin creeps into your pictures it gives you another gift, the gift of embracing yourself. I’ve noticed a lot of people enjoy taking intentionally ugly faced pictures and posting them on social media. To me this says, “I am secure with who I am and I am able to laugh at myself, thus I’m cool.” AMIRITE OR AMIRITE (or WRONG)

This is in fact a picture that I have used in one of my profile pics. Although theoretically a double chin picture should garner positive reactions of “wow this girl is so cool she doesn’t need to smile in her pics,” realistically this did not happen. In fact, this is the first picture Jenny ever saw of me. She did not think I was cool, in fact she thought, “who does this girl think she is, does she think she’s cool or something being able to post a double chin pic.” Little did Jenny know, she would find out that the girl in the picture was cool and still is my dearies ~ bOOm.

Pop Culture reference cover photos

Nothing yells I’m cultured like a picture of Uma Thurman’s iconic bangs in Pulp Fiction. To be honest, I’ve never even watched that movie yet and even I know that’s just like “cool”. The more vintage the film scene, the better. Preferably the picture will have a deep caption on it. Just imagine, a cover photo with a girl with golden age Hollywood curls smoking a cigarette in sun kissed colours, with the caption “all is not lost”.  Like damn, whoever has this cover photo is just 2deep4me and 2artsy4u.

Let me know if there are other ways to improve your online personality presence (or in real life personality) as it’s not what’s on the outside that matters but what’s on the inside. awwwwwwwwwwn.

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