Disclaimer: The hair in the post header was used for clickbait. I’ve never had that haircut it was just myself sporting a wig. I know to never get china doll bangs although I really want to dip my feet into that world I know I will regret it.

We’ve all been in that situation where you get a hair cut and the hairdresser asks you “Do you like it?” and you automatically reply “I LOVE IT!!!” The pain of a terrible haircut still hasn’t settled because the hairdresser only lets you glimpse into the mirror that he holds behind your head for about 5 seconds. You don’t know exactly how to feel because you’re not even too sure what you look like.

As you walk out of the hair salon and into the wilderness of the streets, you realize you can’t stop staring at yourself in the windows and you wonder if you got it cut maybe a little to0o0ooo0000o short. You realize that when you asked for one inch off, the hairdresser probably heard “GIMME A BUZZCUT, I WANT TO LOOK LIKE SEAN DESMAN.”

Now that you’re going through a spiral of self doubt and feeling completely insecure over the fact that you low key look like your dad with your shorter hair, you realize that the only people who constantly have your back are your friends.

…and so it begins the search for validation. You take your phone out and pose at your best angle that makes your hair look AMAZINGGGGGG and you send the pic to your friends announcing your haircut. Perhaps you’ll even post it on instagram and wait by your phone for them likes. In our digital age the sources for validation are endless!!!

Your friends in your group chat look at that beautiful picture and reply “WOW YOU LOOK SO MATURE NOW!!!” Little do they know you have deceived them with your self taught selfie tricks.

Finally…it gets to the point where you have to face your friends in person and before they even see you their natural reaction would be to say “nice haircut,” but that’s honestly just a reflex to acknowledge that your hairlooks different.

Now why am I even writing about this topic?

Because I have been on the receiving end of many bad haircuts.

Exhibit A:

This is the time I decided that having an “emo/scene” haircut was cool so I basically sported a mullet for a good 1/4 of my high school years. I remember I had so many layers that I’d wake up in the morning with a box on top of my head. I also thought I was hot shit with this haircut but looking back I really didn’t deserve the confidence I had in that look. My bangs literally look like shark’s teeth.


Exhibit B:

That time I cut my hair too short and looked like a 40 year old Chinese mother waiting on her two children to get into Harvard as her husband manages properties that they own. Did I mention that under this persona I own a Louis Vuitton bag, I didn’t have to mention it because you can just tell from my look that I own one.

Exhibit C:

Not exactly a haircut, but I attempted to do an ombre dye that should take 4 hours within 2 hours while I was in China. I ended up with what looked like a straight-line across my hair. There was no beautiful gradient fade that comes with an ombre. Essentially it looked like I had a bowl cut with black hair and then strands of blonde coming out of that bob. Please note the disappointed look in my eyes and facial expressions.

So what exactly do you tell your friend once they’ve gotten a haircut that isn’t that appealing?

YOU TELL THEM IT’S NICE OF COURSE. Nobody wants to hear the truth that their haircut doesn’t look good. The worst would be if they actually like their haircut and you think they don’t look good with it. That’s kind of like telling someone, “Congratulations on the baby!!!” and they’re not pregnant.

So when is it acceptable to discuss that bad mistake of a haircut?

You can finally admit to your friend their haircut was a terrible choice when THEY themselves accept that the haircut was terrible. Either at that point or I like to benchmark two years, whichever comes first. Anything before 2 years may still sting the person a bit. If they admit to having a bad haircut you can just agree with them and laugh over that mistake.

How do you deal with a bad haircut yourself?

Haircuts never really phase me at the end of the day because just like a person reading self help books is on a journey of growth, so is your hair. That short haircut won’t last forever, in about 3 weeks you’ll be looking just great.

…AND REMEMBER it’s not about having LONG HAIR DON’T CARE, but caring about what’s on the inside of each individual human and that you’re more than just your looks. It may feel like the end of the world when you look in the mirror and think “lord I have to face humans today” but if you act confident enough people will just assume you got an obscure hipster haircut which is the ultimate haircut goal. So you’re still a winner at the end of the day!