Shout out to Duy, @yudnguyen, for letting us use this pic.
Disclaimer: If you think I’m foh real you gotta get yohself checked (…but I am foh real though)
To my dearest readers, after extensive research in observing men (not in a creepy, heavy breathing, searched you on facebook, twitter, linkedin, your high school myspace page way) and determining what I find attractive, I have compiled a list of 5 must haves for men.
1. a Baguette
When I see a guy with a baguette coming out of his beautiful tote made out of reusable materials (no that was not a euphemism ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ), I think, “wow. this guy be cultured.” A guy who has a baguette isn’t some guy who just eats your traditional mass manufactured white wonder bread. This type of guy researches which cafes to go to when he travels cause he’s into that stuff. He reads books with big words in them and he don’t use no butter on his bread, he be dipping it in some organic olive oil because that’s his style. He’s the kind of guy who probably sports a nice pompadour haircut and looks homeless but in fact is just a hipster.
2. A Bicycle
People of this earth (and aliens ~trying really hard here not to discriminate in my readership~), when you see a guy on a bike you feel like they care about this planet and they want to emit less gases by biking around. It also shows that they meet the minimum threshold of somebody who tries to stay healthy. All good signs in a future partner(￣ε￣＠). I mean, who doesn’t want someone who cares about the well being of themselves and of others?
3. A Daniel Wellington Watch
If you’re using any type of social media, especially instagram you must know what a Daniel Wellington watch is. Every famous instagrammer got that DW15%INSERTUSERNAME discount going on. This watch has taken over everyone’s feed. They’re simple and stylish and not pricey at all. If you see a man with Daniel Wellington watch, you know they care about style, but you also know they good at budgeting. Yes, I know, a Rolex is always nice, but think about your children. Do you want your baby daddy to be spending on some watch or do you want your baby daddy to be investing in your future. That’s what I thought┐(￣ヘ￣;)┌.
4. A baby
Is it just me or did Ryan Reynolds get that much hotter when he became a dilf (°◡°♡).
My daughter’s only 6 months old and already drawing. I’d hang it on the fridge but honestly, it’s absolute garbage.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015
A baby is the ultimate accessory on a man, because it just yells that he’s responsible enough to be taking care of a child (which I know may not always be the case cause he could’ve been irresponsible and ended up with the baby…but that’s not my point right now). It also shows that he’s good with kids and who doesn’t find a man who’s good with kids yummy.
5. A Dog
Now if you ain’t at that age to have a baby, a dog will suffice. It shows that you’re responsible enough to be taking care of another life and that you’re probably soft on the inside. I mean we’ve all seen that super buff GTL type of guy who has a chihuahua that he calls Princess. This type of guy just smells like Axe but when they baby talk to their little pups, a flower crown à la snapchat appears on their head and they become the soft baby loving men that they really are. Seeing a guy baby talk to their minuscule dogs truly displays their vulnerability and emotions.
To be quite honest, I wanted to generate a list of 10 items but it’s been 2 months since I’ve had this idea for a blog and I still only managed to make it to 5. If you have any suggestions at all on other accessories for men I’d love to hear them and I’m sure men out there are looking for ways to up their accessories game. As some obscure fashion designer probably once said, “Don’t be boring, accessorize.” I lied, I just came up with that on spot.